Aspirations: All Our Yesterdays
by Aozoran
Summary: First In The Aspirations series. After a brutal attack, Blaster finds himself trapped in a world of uncertainties and desperately hopes to find some salvation or risk losing everything he already has.


**Author's Note: XD MERRY BELATED CHRISTMAS FIC KAYLA! XDDDDDDDD as requested. XD I'm quite eager to write a few more long fics in this series XD XDDDDDD keeps my mind busy and gets me back into writing XD maybe a JazzXProwl or RatchetXFirst Aid. XD Anyone else got some suggestions? **

**Episodes- "Blaster Blues", "Auto-Bop"**

**Characters- Soundwave (G1), Blaster (G1), First Aid (G1), Jazz (G1), Afterburn (Animated Comic) (Used for sake of his personality)**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately OWN NOTHING!**

* * *

Images floated before his closed optics, fluttering across the inside of his shutters, blurry and rather indistinct, even when he attempted to focus on the old memory files that danced just out of his mental reach. Groaning softly his whole body rolled slightly, his face burying itself into the softness of the pillow, his frame squirming slightly amongst the blankets and snuggling back into the surprising patch of warmth that had him sighing. Memories of Earth tickled him, songs and concerts replaying for him like the images had, partially garbled and making him cringe for a moment. The deep recharge he craved drifted away from his grasp and with a particularly reluctant sigh, his optics flickered half open, only to clench shut again at the painful throb that came with the first glimpse of the lamp beside the berth. The brightness seemed to cut right through his thoughts, burn away everything, leaving behind a throbbing pain and a moment of blindness.

A whimper escaped his vocals, when something warm stroked against his throbbing helm, a dark shadow passing before the light and the entire berth dipped under the weight of another frame. For a moment he wondered who it was, but eagerly pressed into the touch, fingers making short work of his aching processors, relieving the growing pressure inside. His own fingers flailed for an astrosecond, before bumping into a strong arm, fingertips scooting along armour plating and curling around a forearm, holding the hand there, attempting to open his optics again.

His processors throbbed again, pulsing for a split-second until he suddenly jolted with the fact that there was _someone_ there. There hadn't been anyone in so long besides his Cassettes, it wasn't Ratchet... it couldn't be the medic, the berth beneath him was far to soft, too warm to be one in medbay, even though he couldn't remember why he would need to be in medbay in the first place.

"Rest."

Blaster positively jumped at the sound of that single word, head coming up sharply, fighting the waves of dizziness that assaulted him, his lips parting just about to say something when a second hand caught his jaw lightly. Two hands cupping his chin, fingers splayed out and tenderly stroking back and forth, a low sound filling his audios, gentle and musical. His mouth attempted to open, then clicked shut, his audios tingling with the new sound waves that swept through him, rolling him like the ocean would a...

"Rest, Blaster."

His body responded to the gentle command, sagging straight back into the warm spot he had rolled over into, his struggles to open his optics again seemed meaningless as need to recharge swamped him, the music the perfect melody to reinforce the spoken command. Blaster's fingers were loosening around the arm, sliding backwards and then flopping down onto the berth, the thermal coverings being drawn up over his shoulders.

"Stay." He begged the nameless shadow, his fingers twitching just beyond the edge of the blanket, trying to indicate his desire for whoever it was to remain with him. "Please..." All his energy seemed to be bleeding away into nothingness, the sudden vulnerability it left him was frightening and this warm mech was his only source of comfort.

"I would not think of leaving." The unidentified mech responded, voice quiet and almost monotone, yet there was a deep wash of feelings behind the words, unspoken and like a wash of warmth as the music faded away. "First Aid said you would need to recharge for an orn at the least..." A finger feathered softly down across the curve of Blaster's helm then down along the sweep of his spinal plating, and across bare metal.

"Aid?" Blaster murmured questioningly, blue optics drifting partly open, catching a glimpse of the large dark shape that inhabited one edge of the berth. "Why... would I need to see... Aid? Ratchet would...?"

"You were injured." The mech rumbled in answer, shifting closer and fingers returned to stroking Blaster's helm, only the outline of the mech being shown by the bright lamp behind him. "I was concerned for your repair status."

Blaster almost wanted to snort at that, the words were stiff... but he could _hear_ the emotion behind it, hear the deep concern and love just beneath the surface. Primus... who was this? Who was the answer to all the broken dreams that had plagued him for so long, the unfulfilled desires...? He could be popular, have a berth-buddy for the night but no one had ever... _loved_ him like this mech did. Though, the fact that he didn't remember a name, didn't remember a face... didn't remember anything pertaining to his companion was worrying. The last thing he remembered was... was... the moon? Megatron... and... Cosmos...? The looming form of Astrotrain and the painful heat of being welded to the wall behind him... of him being used...

"Ratchet..."

"He is currently stationed on Earth."

Of course he was. They all were! He had just been with Carly and Spike at the concert just before the mission with Cosmos... Hadn't he? It was the last clear memory within his memory core, anything beyond that was inaccessible, what could definitely be interpreted as either empty files or corrupted ones that he couldn't access. Suddenly his spark sank low within its casing, throbbing painfully away within him. His memory files were corrupted, even the backups weren't responding to his desperate queries!

What... what would happen if he asked who this was? Would the warm quiet mech leave him? Should he risk saying something and be carted back to medbay? Shuddering slightly, he squirmed closer to the warmth, face burying itself against the strong leg, his fingers lightly brushing over the warm metal, clinging to it.

"Blaster?"

Hands stroked against Blaster's helm again, lighting tracing the edges of his audio antennae leaving him gasping softly with the flutters of pleasure that came from such intimate contact. One hand lifted, fingers lacing with the larger one, drawing it down and kissing the strong palm, rubbing his cheekplate against it almost purring. The scent of the mech was enticing, warm and welcoming and even if he didn't remember, his frame did, remembering the rush of pleasure that came when those hands touched him in the privacy of _their_ quarters. No matter how foggy things were, he knew it was safe here with this mech, safe in those arms.

"Blast..."

A mouth found Blaster's for a moment, strong arms sweeping the slender Autobot upwards, cradling him close as his fingers clung to the dark armour, lips parting and groaning at the heated taste. Lips and glossas swept together, clinging and hot, blue optics dimmed and shut again, melting beneath the mouth that swallowed anything he had to say, eating away everything that he had been thinking about. It was bliss, sweet sensual ecstasy, his arm wrapped around broad shoulders, pulling the dark head closer, heat rising like a wave within him, making him positively squirm as his mouth was explored and dominated. This was home... his spark was screaming it over and over again. After millions of years, he had what he had been searching for all along. A hand cradled the back of his neck, supporting his helm as it went back and rested on the pillow, the blankets being drawn up around him.

"No... wait... my Man..." He groaned, trying to pull the mouth back down against his own, almost whimpering when the other was drawing away from him, his lips damp and tasting of something indescribably enjoyable.

"As much as I would prefer to." The steady voice responded to Blaster's protests, quieting them as Blaster continued to squirm slightly on the softness of the berth, the distraction of that mouth had managed to ease the throbbing ache in his cranial unit, which was now returning rather quickly. "Right now you need to rest, Blaster, the damage was severe."

The dark frame shifted, leaning away from him for a second, the light suddenly blinding Blaster again for a moment, before his optics finally adjusted to it and he stared. Half cast in shadows, the outline of that face was extremely handsome, the hand reached out to lower the light level and twisted back to the communications officer, the heavy visor being swept upwards. The moment he had seen the half uncovered face he had frozen, staring at the mech with something akin to horror. Even when the visor was pushed upwards, revealing the elegant features, the deep penetrating optics that had always been hidden from him, he couldn't say a word, choking down the raw shock that caught him somewhere around the spark.

Soundwave.

Soundwave sat there, _smiling_ slightly at Blaster, ruby red optics glittering for a long moment, reflecting so many emotions behind the surface, like running water beneath a layer of transparent ice. One warm hand still lightly sliding along the crimson mech's side, stroking lightly and soothingly.

Optical ridges lifted in question at the expression on his lover's features, his lips pressing together in confusion when Blaster hurriedly jerked away from the touch, scooting backwards, avoiding the tender fingers. Not in any of his wildest dreams had the Autobot ever imaged this, imaged Soundwave here... with him, warm, familiar and desirable. None of those words should ever be applied to a bot that had a superiority complex and was the most loyal of Megatron's followers.

Suddenly there was no more berth and Blaster flopped rather unceremoniously from the berth onto the floor with a heavy thump, his legs tangled in the sheets with his feet still somewhere up on the berth. His helm gave a nice 'thunk' against the floor-plating, gaining a yelp and a squeak from the red Autobot while he scrambled to find a weapon, his subspace pockets ridiculously empty. However, the drawers built into the wall offered him his sonic disruptor which he shakily pointed at the dark shadow that had hurried around the edge of the berth and was ready to scoop him back up only to be greeted with a weapon in the face.

"Blaster, I do not understand... why are you pointing a weapon at me?" A brief flicker of confusion darted through the pair of deep cherry red optics, the lips twisting down into a slight frown. He stretched out a hand to retrieve what was actually his spare weapon from the smaller hands of his lover and watched that finger tighten on the trigger just a touch more and froze. "It is alright. I assure you. The thug whom attacked you is currently in custody." Only after Prowl had managed to convince the furious Soundwave to relinquish the badly battered frame of Blaster's attacker after having come to his lover's defence had he been dragged off still functional much to Soundwave's regret. "He is no longer a viable threat, I made quite certain of that."

"Wha...? No way, Man! What... rubbish yah tryin' ta feed me?" His bright blue optics widened, scrambling backwards, his back against the wall, the sheets tangled and fluttering off the bed onto the floor around him. Expression rather accusing, his lips pressed together, angry and definitely not about to let Soundwave anywhere near him, trying not to remember the gentle hands, the warm mouth pressed against his own. "Some dirty 'Con trick." The weapon wavered in his hands, heavy and definitely not built for his grip making it almost impossible to keep steadily aimed on the extremely handsome mech before him.

"Blaster, I would not lie to you." Soundwave struggled to work out what to do, his shoulders twitching slightly, attempting to work out what to say before shifting upwards and moving over to pick up a small comm unit from the table, the one that was hooked up into their home's main system. Flicking it on, he was tuning it to First Aid's private frequency, hoping just once the medic would not be busy. "First Aid, I require your assistance."

_"'Soundwave? Huuuh...? Oh..."_ The sleepy voice on the other end was clearly struggling to come online. _"Please tell..."_

"He does not remember."

_"Oh..."_ The soft click and clatter of a mech rearmouring sounded, showing that First Aid was definitely quite ready to come. _"Try to keep him calm, if you can... bring him to the medcentre... I'll be there in a few breems." _

Blaster glanced from the comm to Soundwave then back to the comm unit, the weapon continuing to be pointed in Soundwave's direction, though the muzzle dipped and swerved unsteadily. This made no sense, but when did Decepticon Tricks ever...? Time travel? Abduction? Elaborate deceptions? Whatever it was, he wasn't about to fall for it, corrupted memory files or not, there was no way in Primus's name he would have ever... berthed with _Soundwave_.

"Unfortunately at the moment, Blaster has my backup weapon pointed at me and I am quite certain he is willing to fire on me if I approached him."

A sound of horror came from the comm, pedes sounding on metal filled the surprisingly quiet apartment. _"I'll be right there, don't move a servo..." _

"I have no wish to." Soundwave deadpanned, his optics dimming slightly as he gazed at the weapon wielding Blaster with a forlorn look. "Blaster, I assure you... everything is well. There is no threat."

"Ain't so, 'Con. Yah're a big whopper of a threat."

"I assure you... I am not."

"Could've fooled me!"

* * *

Soundwave sat in the quiet of his and Blaster's quarters, glancing out at the night-time view of Cybertron and the vast golden spires of Iacon that sprawled out for their viewing pleasure. Lights glittered like a thousand fixed stars against the golden streaks of the spires, most of the buildings were in some advanced state of repair, Iacon so close to achieving its renewed glory. His head twisted back towards the bedroom, swallowing hard and remembering the shouted words and the calls of...

His shoulders drooped, helm coming to rest in his hands, feeling the weight of reality crashing down over him. How long had he thought this would last? How long before Blaster...? The thought made him swallow around the thick lump in his vocals, preventing any sound from escaping him, trying to clamp down on the insecurities that had always lingered. For all his coldness, he had no defence against the mech he loved, the one that had reached inside his chassis, found his spark and given it a new meaning to beat.

A pair of crimson optics opened from the arm of the couch he was on, a sleek black head lifting from folded paws and gave him a rather long thoughtful look, before stretching and almost going promptly back into recharge.

"At least you can recharge." Soundwave rested both hands over his belly, leaning back, optics shuttering tightly and feeling a jolt of emotion crash into him again, the mech attempting to bury it and push it away deep inside his processors. He could not let himself feel more than he did right then, he could not allow himself the slide into despair that was clawing at the edges of mind. Blaster _would_ recover physically, First Aid had said as much and he trusted in the mech's abilities. It was the amnesia that worried him, the fragmented data files might never repair themselves.

Blaster had lost a vorn. For a Cybertronian, a mere vorn was like a drop in a vast cosmic ocean, but _this_ vorn spanned more than either of them could have originally imagined. It spanned the Autobot return to Cybertron, the death and resurrection of Optimus Prime, it marked the creation and destruction of Galvatron... and the final peace that had finally patched the vast gaps between Autobot and Decepticon, the necessity of working together to prevent their own mutual annihilation. It also spanned the vast gap that had once existed between them. They had been enemies, the bitterest of such... and the realisation for Soundwave that he didn't _want_ to fight Blaster. Soundwave had fallen for the energetic mech, drawn in by him. In the other mech he had seen everything that he wasn't and the things he wanted to be, it was like staring into a simple melody and finding a thousand part harmony within its simple, yet elegant structure.

Something warm rubbed up against the edge of Soundwave's hand, almost making him start, his crimson optics flashing open to look down at Ravage whom had decided to forgo his recharge cycle in his favourite spot and rest his head in Soundwave's lap, emitting the soft low ultrasonic vibrations that were the cassette's equivalent of a feline purr. Fingers rubbed behind the feline's audio receptors, sighing after a moment, wishing there was something he could do. Anything he could do to change this... to help Blaster remember... but how?

"How's it shakin'?" The voice almost had Soundwave jumping, his head snapping towards the white and black mech that stood in the doorway, a hand resting on one hip, with blue optics glowing gently at Soundwave from behind his visor. Jazz stood in the doorway, head cocked slightly and glancing towards the bedroom door.

"Jazz." Soundwave greeted stiffly, eying the Autobot for a long moment before scooting Ravage all the way into his lap and curling an arm around the warm frame resting across his thighs.

"Yah know yah can call me, don't yah?" Leaning against the doorframe for a moment longer, he pushed himself off and gracefully moved forwards, almost bouncing on his heels slightly as if listening to some soundless music. "Prowler told me 'bout what happened."

Soundwave stiffened further, glancing back towards the closed doorway of the bedroom and knowing that Blaster was deep in a sedated recharge beyond the door. First Aid saying he would have one of the other mechs pick Blaster up in the morning to be brought back into the medical centre where the crimson mech had been sprawled out for the past orn being repaired. Before his optics finally turned back towards Jazz, lips pressing together but not allowing his face to be hidden by either visor or battlemask, this mech could be trusted. Jazz was welcome here.

"He's 'kay right?"

A long pregnant pause answered Jazz.

"What happ'ned?"

"Memory file fragmentation."

"Oh... slag." Jazz's usually jovial personality melted and he was soon sitting on the edge of the low table before the main couch, forearms resting against his knees and leaning forwards slightly. "How bad?"

"A vorn."

"Slag."

"You have no need to repeat yourself." The mech responded steadily, but his shields were cracking, everything was crumbling without Blaster.

"When exactly...?"

"From the nearest First Aid can approximate the date of his last uncorrupted memory files, the mission with Cosmos to the moon concerning the Voltronic Galaxer." Soundwave was rather glad that particular 'mission' had not been something he had been involved in, though he remembered the mix of frequencies that Megatron had projected and the days of constant throbbing pain that had followed him around wherever he went.

"He remembers nothin' in between? Nothin' 'bout yah...?"

"No."

"Not even when yah two make like cyber-bunnies and... well..." Jazz snorted softly in a moment of amusement at the glare that was direction at him, though glad that he had hooked Soundwave and was drawing him away from the edge he knew lingered far too close. Blaster was Soundwave's lifeline, Jazz understood that... understood the terror that could come with losing someone... like he almost had Prowl. "I defin'tely ain't knowin' how he could forget dat."

"He has." Soundwave rumbled again one hand clenching into a fist, anger glinting in those deep crimson optics, which narrowed on Jazz for a moment longer before closing tightly in anguish.

A pair of vivid blue optics glanced around the edge of the door, staring at the pair of mechs that sat in what appeared to be the main area of the comfortable quarters... Blaster shivering slightly where he was curled on the floor by the door, having dragged himself from the berth and towards the exist, determined to not let anyone keep him here. It was definitely a trick, but he was surprised to see Jazz... First Aid he could understand... but why on Cybertron would they forge an image of Jazz? Jazz... _talking_ to Soundwave? From what he knew, Soundwave was not big on conversations under any circumstances, especially not to Autobots.

"Yah ain't givin' up are yah, 'Wave?" Jazz reached out a gripped the clenched fist, pulling it forwards and carefully unfurling the trembling fingers. "Yah ain't gonna give up on Blaster are yah? He needs yah."

"You are wrong about that. It is I... who need him."

"Hey, 'Wave. Yah ain't alone in this, Brother. Prowler and I are here, First Aid and the others... Yah not alone." Squeezing the hand gently, he was leaning back slightly again, catching a glimpse of something in the doorway to the bedroom, his optical ridges lifting imperceptibly in surprise. "Yah've always been there when it count'd for us and yah were there for Blaster. No one can fault yah dat."

"I was too late!" Soundwave snarled, his expression showing his self-hatred clearly, crimson optics burning brightly, his entire body collapsing inwards on itself. "I was too late... to protect him."

"Hey! HEY!" Jazz gripped the wrist tightly, preventing Soundwave from jerking away from him, knowing just how self-destructive Soundwave could be at times. This mech was extremely protective of those he cared about, something that was quite endearing. "Stop it."

"Get out." Soundwave attempted to pull away, but his frame was tired, his energy reserves sapped and he barely could offer even a token show of resistance at all.

"I ain't goin'. Yah've been killin' yahrself over this. I can see it." His hand tugged down Soundwave's into the light of a nearby lap, revealing the long streaks of damage across the back of them, the flaked paint and partly buckled armour guards. "Yah haven't even gotten yahrself repaired."

"I..."

"Blaster wouldn't be happy if he saw yah like this."

The pair of blue optics stared, wide and bright and confused, the mech cuddled the blanket closer around his shoulders, quite certain that 'Jazz' had seen him. Were they doing this for his benefit? Some attempt to get him to trust Soundwave, make him into a traitor? His spark shrieked against the idea of Soundwave doing that, the mech wouldn't betray him... he didn't understand. What was all this? Where were his cassettes? Where were they? The window dark with a smattering of lights he couldn't seen clearly from his vantage point behind the edge of the door. What had happened?

Ravage was snuggling closer, attempting to offer some affection, a little reassurance, but even that wasn't enough to sooth him, nothing could sooth the dull ache in his spark.

"How long has it been since yah recharged?" Getting no answer, he was releasing the strong wrist and attempted to give Ravage a gentle scratch behind one audio and almost got his fingers quite literally bitten off by a set of rather sharp denta being shown by the feline curled in Soundwave's lap.

"I... I honestly do not know. I could not bring myself to do so while Blaster was being repaired." His voice was almost so quiet that Jazz missed it, before he was shifting away and placing Ravage back onto the couch beside him.

"How 'bout yah camp out at my apartment? Get yahrself some rest, I'll keep an optic on Blaster t'night for yah."

"No. I am not leaving him." Before he was finally getting up slowly, wobbling slightly as he did so before instantly sagging back down onto the couch with a soft sound of air leaving his frame. Optics dimmed after a moment as his shoulders sagged again, glancing towards Jazz and attempted to give him the smallest of smiles. "Thankyou." It was barely audible, shoulders sagging slightly as he shifted back into the spot he had been sitting in most of the evening. "Right now... I would rather not leave Blaster..."

"Alrigh'..." Jazz sighed softly, before he was standing upwards, reaching over the back of the couch, shoving a thermal blanket into Soundwave's lap, the fabric sprawling over Ravage whom had returned to his spot in the warm lap, the feline was hissing and spitting like a fury beneath the swaths of fabric, the dark form moving beneath it and clearly showing that the cassette was not at all happy with Jazz over the fact the blanket had been dumped quite literally on top of him. "Get some recharge, 'kay? No buts... yah call me alright if yah have any trouble."

"As you wish."

Crimson optics glowered at Jazz's back when he slipped out of the apartment with a soft goodbye, leaving Soundwave swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. Reassured he was not alone, the fact still remained that Blaster wanted him as physically as far away as possible. Would things ever be as they had been?

Though in the darkness of the bedroom Blaster stared at the crumpled form of Soundwave, watched the dark shape slide down onto couch, head propped on the arm of it, and in the faint light of the city lights beyond the wind caught the single tear, which glistened for a moment before dripping down to soak into the covering strung across the arm of the couch. Revealing in that one instant the depth of Soundwave's emotions and leaving Blaster more bewildered then ever.

* * *

In the silence, Blaster moved out from where he had been curled behind the door shivering with cold even with the blanket hugged tightly around his frame. Taking care not to make a sound, he was finally free to look around the open sitting room, head twisting from the vast viewer and the mountain of high tech things that were strung and hooked up along one whole wall. This place was familiar, one glimpse out the window and he knew... this had been his apartment, before the war tore him from his life, tore him from his dreams. Yet this space was not just his own, a quick glance and he noted the spare room was now partially opened out into the living room space along with the kitchen. The spare room appeared to be some kind of work bay, tools and datapads neatly sitting across the benches, schematics hovering within the holographic projector fields. His usual mess was no where to be seen... only neat and tidy rooms greeted his optics...

Objects filled the shelves built into one of the walls to one side, things he had collected from Earth, trinkets and memorabilia, a thousand little music crystal recorders were stacked across one of them. However amongst it all was a few things he didn't recognise, his hand stretched out to pick up one of the objects, turning it over between his fingers, it felt warm... odd and he quickly set it back when it began to play a complex harmony, silencing the moment he put it down.

Out of the corner of one optic, he caught the glimpse of what appeared to be the only picture in the entire apartment, one of Soundwave and himself. His finger brushed against the edge of the frame when it flickered, giving him a few moments of video.

_"Smile, 'Wave... just once? Come on, my main Man." Blaster chuckled softly at the single raised optical ridge that answered him, his head lifting and kissed those stiff lips, feeling the melt instantly and give him a blissful moment of pleasure as an arm slipped around his waist and pulled him closer. And for a brief moment, hidden from the recording unit, Blaster glimpsed the most beautiful smile light up Soundwave's features, the mech whispering something softly to him and gaining himself a sweet smile in return. _

Something warm suddenly insinuated itself between his pedes, rubbing and purring in a low sound of pleasure, almost knocking him off his pedes at the strength behind the movement and Blaster's gazed dropped to stare at Ravage. The cassette was sweeping around and around his legs, rubbing up against Blaster and clearly pleased when a hand dipped down and he butted his head eagerly against it, clearly glad to have Blaster back home.

"Hey there... Pussy cat..." Blaster almost stammered, surprised beyond belief that _Ravage_ was demanding attention from him of all people. Though his optics glanced around him, clearly wondering where the other Cassettes were... Where were his own?

Promptly Ravage mewled back, before arching into Blaster's hand for a moment before heading towards the curled up form of Soundwave sprawled across the couch and Blaster's spark melted at the sight. Recharge had escaped him the moment the sedatives he had been given had begun to wear off, the emptiness of the berth had been enough for him to try to 'escape' the bedroom, and now he realised the reason he couldn't recharge. Soundwave hadn't been there...

Everything was still a fragmented mess inside of his processors, his systems attempting to repair the floating bits of data, piece together what he was missing. From what he could make of Jazz and Soundwave's conversation he had apparently been in some kind of fight... Blaster's hand reached out for one of the larger ones that dangled over the edge of the blanket, wrapped uncomfortably around the big frame. His slender fingers slipped underneath the powerful digits, his spark fluttering wildly at the physical contact, before his thumb stroked over the top of them and almost felt the hand jerk out of his grasp, when Soundwave gave a low sound of pain. Jazz had been wrong here, they weren't just damaged, they were painfully twisted... slightly buckled as if Soundwave had been striking something hard with his closed fists for quite a long time.

A shudder ran through the large frame, Soundwave rolling on the couch, his pedes propped up on the other arm of the chair, the blanket flopping down and off the long chassis, revealing the fact there was no longer a Decepticon symbol upon the armour. Soundwave was clearly restless, despite the fact that he was quite exhausted and the couch did look remarkably comfortable. His hand stretched out again, sliding over the dark metal, feeling the powerful spark throbbing just beneath the surface, appreciated the soft little sigh of happiness that seemed to escape those lips.

He had never thought of touching this mech in such a way, the thought was definitely a foreign one, even though he had to admit he had always appreciated the strength that seemed built into every inch of the Decepticon's frame. Was this a trick? The flutter of confusion surged through him, a worry that everything would not be like it appeared to be. To his amazement a pair of crimson optics flickered open ever so slightly, a smile sliding onto those lips, an arm wrapping around the back of Blaster's thighs, fingers stroking up and down the length of one in affection.

"Late... again?" Soundwave's voice was sleepy and warm, not a monotone in sight. Head tipped back slightly, clearly attempting to get a better look at Blaster's face. In those bright optics it was clear that in this moment of sleepy bliss at having Blaster close, Soundwave had forgotten himself.

"Umm... yeah, Man..." How was he supposed to answer that one?

"Should've... called me." Soundwave grumbled, his face tucking in against Blaster's belly, inhaling deeply, helm nuzzling against the warm metal, those crimson optics slowly sliding shut again, large frame snuggling back down into the softness of the couch.

"I can look after myself." Blaster responded, his hand stroking across the dark helm, thumb sweeping across one of those cheekplates, swallowing around his own spark that had managed to catch itself in his mouth. "Yah don't need ta worry..."

The hug around Blaster's legs tightened, keeping him as close as possible. "Always... do..."

"Silly."

One crimson optic opened at that, staring upwards at Blaster, a soft snort escaping the large mech, who wrapped another arm around Blaster, hand sliding upwards across spinal plating and rubbing beneath it. "You have a perchance for getting yourself into trouble."

"Do not." It was so easy. Easier than he had ever thought to slip into a teasing argument, slide into an intimate familiarity especially when it concerned a _Decepticon_. "Yah're still asleep."

Grumbling, Soundwave rolled, almost attempting to take Blaster with him onto the empty space on the couch, the action almost unbalancing the crimson mech who was forced to rest a hand against one of the exposed broad shoulders to keep himself steady. "'m not..."

Blaster laughed, his spark fluttering so wildly he thought it would fly right out of his chassis, "Yah poutin', 'Wave."

"I am most assuredly not."

"Indignant!"

A low grumble answered Blaster. "You are unkind." It was muffled against Blaster's hip, those arms stilled against the mech's back, but they were beginning to slide downwards, a touch limp.

"Hey... hey..." His hand curled around the underside of one arm that had dipped to somewhere near his knees, watching the entire body sagging just a touch, though this time it wasn't the look of defeat, but the relaxed motions of true sleep. "Hey... Baby..." Leaning over the mech, he was starting to feel... starting to wonder if he had been wrong in questioning this. How could he imagine this? Imagine the wonderful feeling of being loved and cared about? "The berth is that way."

"Too... tired..."

Blaster glanced about, before knowing that if he was going to get anywhere he either had to go along with whatever deception this was or give in to the warm feelings that were quite willing to start overwhelming him. "Up." Tugging at the large limp arm, he dipped enough to attempt to pull Soundwave upwards, however he ended up being barely able to keep his own pedes, feeling the infernal weakness spreading out through his frame again. "Come on..." Tugging again, he ended up face first sprawled across the dark frame, legs dangling a little before the warm frame rolled towards the back of the couch and took his entire frame with him.

With a squeak, Blaster was sprawled in the narrow gap between the heated frame and the back of the couch, rolling himself, Blaster was wrapped within the edge of the blanket, arms wrapping around his slender waist and kept him there. His cheek rested against the dark metal, listening to the steady throb of the spark just beneath his audio, chirping softly in mixed surprise and relief. Fingers curled into the strong armour, clinging desperately to the one thing that he knew. The one that wouldn't hurt him...

Even though the faint images of a battle filled his processors, his grip only tightened on the mech beside him, snuggling in and squeezing himself into the gap a little more firmly, safe and comforted.

_"I've been waiting a long time for this, you poor excuse for a sound system."_

Blaster buried his face more sharply against the warm chassis as thoughts were beginning to reform inside of his processors, memory files starting to piece themselves together, strings of code repairing themselves as First Aid said they were likely to do. Even though the images flashing before his optics gave him pause, made him look upwards and stare at the handsome face of the recharging mech, he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Dancitron danced its way through his head, Raoul and the Bop Crew, the dark shadows of early morning and the pulse of sound that filled him... melodies that he had only heard that one time.

"Tricky." He murmured softly to himself. "Can I trust you?" Only time would answer him that one... For now, it was far safer to go along with whatever plan Soundwave had, it was more than likely to keep him functional than waving a weapon around and almost shooting himself with it. Hopefully by the end of this... he would have some answers, because this _future_ was never what he could have imaged in his wildest of dreams.

Even though... a big part of him wanted to believe in it. The War... would more than likely not end like this...

* * *

Soundwave groaned softly, shifting on the couch and having to steady the heavy mass that was sprawled across his chassis, literally acting as a blanket and he sighed. "Ravage..." The feline at times would sprawl across his frame when he was recharging, weighting him down and definitely not wanting to let him up. But a soft purring came from somewhere near his audio and his crimson optics drifted open, instantly shutting them again as the feline's face appeared right overhead, far too close for comfort.

If Ravage was up by his head on the arm of the couch, what was sprawled across him? His optics opened again, gazing down and across the crimson and white helm that was tucked up beneath his chin. _Blaster?_ Fingers twitched slightly, feeling the warm smooth curve of his companion's back beneath his touch, thumb brushing lightly against the small of it. The touch earned himself a happy sigh from the mech, the first happy sound since that night... his lover was back... the wonderful mech was back... after so long away, his arms tightened for a moment, spark fluttering hopefully. Blaster had sort him out in the night, hadn't run... though First Aid had reassured him that Blaster would be sedated well into the morning. Then how could the mech be here?

"Stubborn." Soundwave laughed softly, optics half closing as he cradled the slender frame against his own, just revelling in the feeling. "You never could stay still for long." His cheekplate rubbed against the top of the crimson helm, paying special attention to the sensitive audio antennae, knowing that it would have Blaster purring just as loudly as Ravage was.

"Mmmh?" It was a sleepy question from his lover, the mech's helm tucking more firmly against his chassis, fingers tightening between his armour plating.

"Rest, Blaster." The dark navy mech encouraged gently, shifting a little and attempting to gather up Blaster so that he could return him to the berth which was probably more comfortable than his hard frame. However, the mech had other ides, the crimson frame pressed down harder against Soundwave's, clearly not wanting either of them to leave the couch and the rather compromising position they were in. "Do not..." And before he could say anything more those hands were wedged in firmly into spots that only Blaster knew of, curling around amongst hypersensitive wires beneath his plating and leaving the former Decepticon groaning.

Though any thoughts of more were shoved from his mind the moment someone was knocking on the main door forcing the dark blue mech to squirm beneath his beloved, wrap the blanket around him and slide the frame somehow to the couch much to the mech's loud protest and sleepy hands attempting to catch him and pull him back downwards. Swaying slightly as his gyros spun at the sudden movement, he was staggering towards the door, it definitely couldn't be Jazz... that mech always just let himself in, something Soundwave had learned to tolerate, this one was physically pounding on the door, both fists and...

Shoulder bumping against the wall by the door, he activated the door release with a soft mechanical hiss of the mechanism and watched as a body suddenly fell through the space previously occupied by the door. Soundwave straightened sharply at the sight of the particular mech, this mech was definitely uninvited and unwanted!

Afterburn stood there, gaining his balance and smoothing out his armour and straightening to glance back at the tired frame of Soundwave and almost caught a glimpse of the tired mech's features before the visor slipped down and into place. "You look quite a _mess_, Soundwave." An optical ridge lifted and a slight smirk touched his features after a moment, making Soundwave's denta grind in irritation. "I heard about what happened to Blaster, I was coming to see if there is anything I can do to help."

The mech took a deliberate step forwards and deeper into the private realm that belonged to Blaster and Soundwave and almost ran straight into the dark chassis of Soundwave who had stepped into his path, barring his way.

"Your help is not required or _needed_." Soundwave wanted nothing more than to give that smug face a good thumping. "Leave my apartment, you are not welcome."

"Its not just your apartment..." The crimson and gold mech responded side stepping and catching a glimpse of the sleepy Blaster half buried in the fine folds of the blanket, bare shoulders shivering with a touch of cold, but void of any armour. "Good morning, Blaster, you're looking gorgeous as ever this fine..."

"**Leave**." Soundwave growled, his voice a low sound that would have scared the scrap out of Prime himself.

"Now, now, Wavy, don't you have any kind of manners, not that I would expect a _Decepticon_ to have any."

"Hey Man... what's...?" Sleepy blue optics blinked slightly, regarding the pair of mechs in the hall, shivering all over and pulling the blanket more tightly around his frame, longing to have the warmth of his lover's frame against his own. His mind jerked at that, the want for Soundwave to be so intimate with him, the desire to have those hands slide over his frame and... A boiling bubble of scorching heat suddenly rose upwards through Blaster, his lower regions suddenly becoming extremely hot and something became almost unbearably uncomfortable.

"I apologise, Blaster." The dark former Decepticon bowed his head slightly towards his lover, before a hand suddenly closed tightly around one of the mech's shoulders, preventing him from going anywhere near Blaster. However any attempt to remove the offensive mech from their apartment was suddenly evaporating the moment the black and white frame of Prowl filled the still open doorway.

"Soundwave." Doorwings bounced ever so slightly as he regarded the pair there, his lips pressing together regarding Afterburn with a moment of suspicion, he knew just how troublesome this mech could be when it came to Blaster and Soundwave. "I need to speak to you down at the Station regarding the injuries to Larrikin." Only to almost let out an embarrassed squeak, when one doorwing was tugged downwards, the edge stroked as Jazz ducked under it and brushed up against the mech's side, almost unbalancing his companion.

"Don't worry 'bout Blaster, 'Wave. I'll stay with him." Jazz winking at Prowl, whom was attempting to straighten and restore his dignity, doorwings twitching and clearly longing for the return of those hands to them.

"I..."

"Go on." Blaster managed to grit out, flustered and definitely not wanting anyone to see his embarrassment over the fact that he was still mostly bare beneath the folds of the blanket and there were a bunch of mechs standing in the doorway watching him.

The former Decepticon however seemed to sag, his entire frame deflating completely at the words, making Blaster regret it instantly, Soundwave had been nothing but _tender_ to him. Maybe Jazz though could answer the billion questions he had, though this Afterburn he didn't know about, even though he didn't quite recognise the mech he seemed familiar enough.

"As you wish." And suddenly Soundwave was out through the doorway and Blaster almost called for him to come back, the sound strangling in his throat.

Something warm pressed against his hand, reassuring and a pair of crimson optics gazed upwards at him. Ravage was there... a firm weight against his side and attempting to say that this had to happen... Soundwave had to go with Prowl at some point...

Prowl bowed his head slightly before vanishing quickly after the fast moving former Decepticon, Jazz glancing back over his shoulder wistfully, clearly longing to have more time with the ever busy Prowl. Both however turned their attention on Afterburn who had set himself down on one of the couches as if he owned it, Ravage hissing up a storm and clearly despising the squeaky clean mech.

"How are you feeling this morning Blaster? Would you like to go see First Aid?" Jazz was sitting himself down on the now spare spot beside Blaster and attempted to ignore the arrogant Afterburn.

"No... if its all the same I would rather stay 'ere." An arm wrapped around his knees, hugging them tightly to his chassis, feeling any cheerful feeling he had earlier fade away, leaving him aching for Soundwave. Had he ever experienced anything like this? In that missing spot in his memory...? This place was a known quantity, it was safe here, safer than anywhere else. "You... you know... don't you?"

"I do." Jazz shot Afterburn another look, that mech was either loved or hated, there was no middle ground with the 'popular' mech, Blaster had been the target of Afterburn's attention ever since Soundwave had attempted to win Blaster over after the Treaty had been signed. Though blue optics looked troubled as they glanced over usually jovial mech before him and taking a stab in the dark over why exactly this mech was looking so uncertain about everything. "Something's wrong isn't it?"

"I..." Blaster glanced towards Afterburn, nervous and squirming slightly in his spot on the couch, fidgeting slightly under the blanket. "Yeah."

"So what's worrying you? Is it all this?" A hand gestured out the window towards the sunlit towers of Iacon, the busy airways and the life that thrummed like a pulse just on the other side of the transparent aluminium. "Or is it, Wave? First Aid said everything should right itself in a day or two... I checked with the doc-bot..." Jazz rubbed the back of his helm slightly in embarrassment, before gazing at Blaster again. "Yah and 'Wave 've pulled my aft out of a transport load of trouble... I... just wanna make sure everythin' goes alright with yah recovery."

"How do I know d'ese are my memories, Jazz?" Croaking out the words, Blaster hugged his knees tighter, feeling his spark flail around inside him, screaming for Soundwave, screaming that all this wasn't a lie. Yet, he had never been truly loved before... all this could be some part of his rather powerful imagination or someone tampering with his memory core. "Even my backups are corrupted."

"Told you this would happen." Afterburn said the moment he heard it, shifting from his seat and moved towards Blaster, sitting on the edge of the table and reaching out to clasp one of the slender hands softly, squeezing them a little and drawing it upwards. "I warned you that associating with Soundwave would not be..."

"Shut up, Afterburn! Yahr opinion ain't called for." Jazz bristled, wanting to punch the crimson mech himself, but caught the uncertain look on Blaster's features when he gazed down at the warm fingers that curled around his own. "_Blaster_." It took a moment for the blue optics to glance upwards from where his hand had been drawn clear of the blankets which were sliding open all over again. "Yah can't seriously..."

"I'm... flattered." Blaster couldn't help but feel he knew this touch too, lighter than Soundwave's, but those fingers were staying still, they were moving... sliding over his wrists, drifting upwards, rubbing and stroking...

"As you should be, I've been telling you the entire time that you made the wrong choice when you picked that _Decepticon_ ever me."

"And yah would take advantage of his memory fragmentation ta just get the bloody fraggin' dat yah want." Jazz was openly hostile, the mech that liked everyone didn't like _Afterburn_ one bit. "He ain't yahrs!"

"Jazz... that is my decision..." Blaster murmured softly, a little flustered by all the attention.

Jazz's mouth clicked shut, jaw working and clearly wanting to say a lot more over Afterburn being here while Soundwave wasn't, this mech always had been a source of trouble, Blaster thinking the mech was 'harmless'. "Then yah will have ta tell Soundwave yah changed yahr mind 'bout **bonding** with 'im."

Mouth dropping open abruptly at that, Blaster was jerking back as Ravage snarled fiercely at Afterburn, sharp denta snapping at him and clearly showing he wasn't about to stay put and allow anyone to dare continue such behaviour towards Blaster.

"No... I... wouldn't..." Blaster fumbled for words, for anything, for an answer to things that just seemed too far out of his reach. Why would he give himself to Soundwave? Love or not... he wouldn't... Soundwave was a Decepticon. "I..."

"You need not worry yourself about Soundwave, my dear Blaster." Afterburn crooned softly, attempting to completely and utterly ignore Jazz and his previous outburst. "Come home with me." Wheedling, attempting to get anything from the beautiful Blaster and not let the Decepticon win this little fight, no Decepticon deserved _that_ kind of happiness.

"But I _am_ home." Optical ridges came together after a moment, letting out a low sigh, it was all fuzz inside of his processors, though the one thing he knew was this was home and he was not about to leave it.

"Then I will stay here with you."

Slowly his hands were sliding out of Afterburn's, swallowing around the great lumps of scrap that seemed to be sitting in the middle of his throat, optics shuttering tightly, shoulders shivering ever so slightly. "No, Man." He was a mess. There was nothing more he could quite say about it, longing for the feeling of happiness that came when he had been on Earth, the happiness of knowing what he wanted, knowing who the enemy was.

"Please, I can help."

_Lies._ A little voice whispered somewhere in the back of his processors. _All lies._ His mouth opened slightly, before shutting it again quickly, his hands lifting to touch his helm lightly. Swallowing around the lump in his throat, shoulders quivering and trembling against the wave of emotion that hit him, he felt the throbbing pain rising upwards through his thoughts. Soundwave? Where... was Soundwave?

"Blaster?" Jazz leaned in instantly at the sight of his friend's distress, a hand squeezing gentle around one of the trembling shoulders, almost flinching backwards at just how cold the other felt beneath his palm. "Yahr freezin'!" Pulling the blanket up firmly around the shaking shoulders, he was quite willing to comm Prowl and have Soundwave come back when Blaster stopped him and shook his head slightly. "We need ta get yah warmed up."

"I'll help..." Afterburn said again, shifting in to almost nudge Jazz out of the way and ended up getting himself kicked in the shin hard enough for the thousands of little sensors to scream bloody murder and almost make him bite his own glossa. "Allow me to stay Blaster..."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Man... I really... I ain't in the best shape right now, thanks all the same..." His hand waved slightly in Afterburn's direction, a touch irritated and shifting backwards on the couch, relaxing only when the mech had finally left, having told him if he needed anything... to call... For some reason all the offers seemed false, all the charming words... flatter than the polished surface of a memory crystal.

Jazz was helping to lift Blaster, steadying him and drawing him along towards the bathroom, running a rather hot bath in the large tub, filling it with the cleanser fluids and de-greasers. The white and black mech turning his back when Blaster sank into the cloudy fluids, hunching down and inhaled the familiar fragrances, his head dipping and just letting himself indulge in the heated bath and the company of his friend.

"Why... do... why don't I trust 'im?" Blaster asked Jazz, hoping that maybe he could find the answers he wanted amongst the words of wisdom that seemed to flow out of Jazz the night before for Soundwave. Jazz had always been the one to have the answers, know just what to say and do to sort out the world into some kind of working order.

"He's a creep and all he wants ta do is get inta yah berth and unda yah armour." The mech's voice was slightly muffled as he was picking up a dropped blanket and held it close for a moment before sitting down against one of the walls. His head tipped back and just rested against the coolness of it, one knee tucked up against his own chassis. "Yah figured dat out ages ago. Don't know why yah so nice ta 'im." Jazz shrugged slightly, before sighing and letting his optics close after a moment, remembering for a second what it felt like to be so close to Prowl... knowing that what he wanted was so close... yet so far from his grasp. "So what's really buggin' yah?"

"Honestly, Bangin' Bot, how in Primus's name did I end up with _Soundwave_?"

"Da answer to dat one is interesting in the extreme." Jazz paused for a moment, tipping his head back and sighing slightly as he was thinking about it himself. "He tried to woo you."

"No way..." The mental image of that was definitely not something he could quite picture, but he could imagine those hands on his frame, sliding and stroking over his frame, the heat of those lips and the reassuring spark throbbing just beneath his audio. "Me? He's a _Con_..."

"Not really anymore, Buddy." It was weird to think about it after all this time, though they still had trouble with those that weren't willing to play by the rules decided not only by Optimus Prime, but also the resurrected Megatron who had been pulled from the insanity of Galvatron. "Not since Prime and Megs agreed on a treaty. Times call'd for it... and well... yah saw the results, Cybertron is now as flash as they come, or well... close enough."

"Treaty?" It sounded too good to be true. Peace... at last? Peace... and a future that didn't involve seeing all of his friends being slaughtered one by one.

"Yeah. Full on Treaty with old Megs himself!" Jazz laughed softly at that, optics slowly drifting closed and just smiling at the thought, he had to admit that there had been a few Decepticons that had won friendships with Autobots quite quickly. "It was quite rough at first, trouble with those who didn't agree over the necessity of the Treaty."

Blue optics peeked over the edge of the tub, Blaster swallowing and hoping that he hadn't been one of those troublemakers. What about the Cassettes? The only one he had seen so far was Soundwave's Ravage who was standing in the doorway for a moment for disappearing off somewhere. "What about my Cassettes? About... me and Soundwave?"

"Soundwave was the one that knocked a lot of the Decepticons in line, should see 'im when he gets goin'. He's a good bot at spark, a little stiff, but he knew the best way ta serve Megatron was ta make sure the Treaty worked and it meant he could be closer ta yah. As for the Cassettes... well they are off somewhere followin' their dreams... though they are quite liable ta come back at the most inopportune moment ta stay." Regarding Blaster for a long moment, his fingers tapped lightly against his knee in a momentary thought. "Yah work in the Communications Sector at Cybertron Command most days and jam it down at the Pulsar most evenin's when yah need to blow off energy." His lips curved down into a deep frown, shoulders sagging ever so slightly. "It was when yah were comin' home from the Pulsar dat yah were ambushed by a rather large thug of a space slug, one that was a 'fan' of yahrs... who didn't take kindly to yah not goin' home with 'im."

"Oh." Blaster's hand stroked down over his arm and felt the new welds and fresh repairs that definitely agreed with Jazz's story, the weakness he felt lingering through his frame. "And... I heard yah talkin' 'bout it last night..." Optical ridges pressed together, barely able to believe that Soundwave would protect him, but those large graceful hands had bared the marks of a fight and Prowl had come to talk to him this morning... "But..."

"Still can't believe yah would fall for 'Wave?"

"Yeah." It was a crazy thought, something that seemed quite impossible, yet here it was.

Jazz slid up the wall to his feet, disappearing out through the doorway for a moment before returning with a holo-recorder, the small one Blaster had noticed on one of the neat benches in the work bay. The mech's pale blue optics averted themselves slightly to not look directly into the clearing waters of the bath, handing the object to his friend then retreating back to his spot by the doorway. Ravage actually coming to demand attention from the Autobot by the door, butting his head against Jazz's hand and settling down to watch.

Turning the device over in his hands, Blaster gave his companion a slightly confused look, optical ridges lifting a little in question. Thumbing the switch on, he turned it over in his hands until it was nestled in against his palm and images flickered to life, short movies, still images and even just audio alone. Almost dropping it in surprise at its contents, a thousand memories lived within this single recorder, a thousand orns of happiness.

_"I love you." _

The voice had been a whisper somewhere amongst the collection of other snatches of music and memory, but the words were for him alone. Each moment resonated somewhere inside of him, spark deep and warmed him from pedes to antennae, his fingers stroked over the smooth-worn surface. Was this what he was missing from his memory? This was the answer to his spark's cries for Soundwave the night before. "He doesn't say it often does he?"

"No. Though I don't think yah mind too much, he's quite the lover, dat bot." Jazz almost flustered at that one, having caught the pair a few times in the most unlikely of places. Soundwave would just stare at him for a moment, clearly unconcerned over the fact that they had been caught, while Blaster would flustered quite hot and attempt to hide himself from view... though he wouldn't be able to keep quiet in the slightest even when he wanted to. "He makes yah happy, he's not so bad either... Righteous bot when it comes ta helpin' sort out trouble, even if he did 'retire' from military service." Prowl had often worked with Soundwave during the early parts of the peace on Cybertron and Jazz had found himself admiring the solid strength of the mech. "Afterburn was his rival for yah... though the little creep was found out for the fraud he was."

"Mmmh." Blaster let his head rest against the edge of the bath, hugging himself beneath the surface and just thinking for a few quiet minutes. "Will... everythin' come back?" Was it only a matter of time before things were back to normal, when all this would be a silly could of days and he could look back on it and laugh?

"First Aid is quite sure it'll come back on its own. Yah'll be caught up on it before yah know it."

"I didn't think this was real at first." The crimson mech admitted, glancing towards Jazz for a long second, letting out a sigh and sinking deeper until the fluids were almost touching his chin. "When I woke up... I had thought I was dreamin'... 'cause..." A soft whimpering groan escaped him, remembering that first kiss, the one that had swallowed him whole and sucked any kind of reasoning from his processors. "I've never had anyone... kiss me like _that_." A hand waved slightly, wishing to cool down his burning facial plates and express what he meant. For all his playful nature and the nights he had shared with a few mechs and femmes through the vorns, there was utterly nothing that could compare to the feeling of being kissed by someone that truly loved you. "I'm not some... but..."

"There is just somethin' 'bout him." The mech nodded slightly, lips curling upwards into a small smile of understanding, "I know the feelin'." Though in Jazz's case, the handsome and easy going mech looked a touch wistful, azure optics fading almost to grey drifting in a daydream that seemed to be quite out of his reach.

"Yah still haven't asked him, have yah, Jazzy?" Blaster questioned, catching the look darting across his friend's charming features.

"I... ah..." It was Jazz's turn to look particularly flustered, fingers twiddling in his lap, leading Ravage to bat at them in irritation when they came too close to his sensitive nose.

"Still?" Blaster leaned across the edge of the bath, sloshing a wave of suds and cleanser fluids down onto the tiled dark tiled floor, arms stretched out, knuckles tapping against the tiles musically while his chin rested on the curved edge. "Yah mean... yah haven't even managed to wheedle yahr way inta his berth?" Blaster tried to hold back the bubble of laughter that rose slowly within his chassis, optics squinting closed, managing to keep it to a shaky snort of disbelief.

"What?" Jazz pouted indignantly, lips pressing together in a moment of dismay and looked away sharply, shoulders drooping a touch. "Have yah ever tried ta get a rock interested in... not that Prowler's solidified silica..." Mentally flailing for the correct words, he shot Blaster a glare as he watched the crimson mech bury his face into the side of the bath and laugh hard against the side, muffling it.

"Yah could talk anyone inta anythin', Bangin' Bot."

"This is _Prowl_ we're talkin' 'bout."

"Well, he looked happy when yah touched 'im." Both hands were making flapping motions in an indication of reaction of Prowl's sensitive doorwings, grinning over the top of his fingers. The fear was leaking away, like drops of fluid sliding down into the grate set into the tiled flooring. Drop by drop, Blaster was trusting what he was being told by Jazz, reassured by the emotions that bubbled up inside of himself at the thought of Soundwave. "Doorwings flappin' all over the place..."

"He likes it." Jazz shrugged slightly, hiding his own smile, he loved getting his hands on those pretty doorwings, tugging at the tips and knowing that all he would do was get himself a look of worn patience from Prowl. "I'll consider..."

"Yah're goin' ta chase 'im, that is what yah're goin' ta do." Blaster pointed a slender finger at Jazz, feeling his spark flutter and could feel all his internal repairs continue to put together things that he had lost. Bits and pieces of the war were starting to fit together again, reassuring and adding quite a number of files to his memory core. "Yah need some happiness in yahr life."

"Alright..." Shaking his head slightly, he gave the feline one last scratch behind the ears before slowly stretching and getting to his pedes, gazing down at the holo-recorder that had clinked to the floor. "I give in." He would consider it, consider chasing Prowl down until the mech finally gave him what he wanted... though his facial plates were positively burning with embarrassment. "I'll try."

"Nah, Jazz, yah can do better than that! Chase him, pin him down and well... convince 'im of the error of his ways."

"Yah do realise I ain't the dominatin' kind?"

"So? Stroke 'im 'til he cracks."

"Burnin' Novas..." The black and white mech shook his head slightly, knowing trying to argue with Blaster was definitely not going to get him anywhere, but maybe his friend really did have a point on that one. "Yah think yah'll be okay?" His dutyshift was going to start soon and as much as he wanted to be able to stay here and keep an optic on Blaster, he didn't want to get any of the mechs above him or around him growling about him being late.

Blaster flashed him a small smile. "Yeah. I'm totally sweet."

"Just... stay in yahr apartment, Soundwave should be back soon..." Wincing slightly, he arched his back, getting all the kinks out of his muscle cables. "I don't wanna leave yah, dude..."

"I'll be fine." Another soft reassurance as Blaster sank back into the warm water, optics shuttering as he let out a soft sigh. "I think I really will be."

Jazz stood in the doorway for one more moment, just watching the mech soaking in the bath and glad to know that his friend was settled and the idea of Soundwave being his lover wasn't so worrisome. Hopefully by that evening everything would have righted itself and Blaster would be himself once more.

* * *

Blaster openly stared, brilliant blue optics watching the door when he heard the soft humming from the other side, somewhere down the corridor. The lock clicked open and the powerful frame of the dark Decepticon swept in through it, Ravage peering from one of the countertops in the kitchen, greeting him warmly.

"Blaster?" The voice was unexpected and almost made the mech jump at the sound, even though he knew the other Cybertronian was lurking in the hall. "I picked up that frequency modulator you asked for."

The illumination dimmed, a fine coating of tinting activating across the wide windows, cutting the level of light by more than half and making the Autobot blinked ever so slightly into the gloom. He peered over the back of what had definitely become his favourite couch. Observing the mech with rapt attention, he was rewarded when the visor swept upwards, vivid and extremely intelligent crimson optics glancing around and finally spotted him. A wide loving smile touched those lips for the briefest of moments, happiness sweeping upwards and Soundwave palmed the device that had been tucked under one arm offering it out.

A swarm of insane organic butterflies suddenly lodged themselves all the way from his tanks to his vocals, forcing him to swallow and just continue to stare almost blankly in shock. Was this what it was like? Was this the happiness Jazz had talked about? The warm flood of relief at Soundwave being home, in a good mood and not in a cell down at the Station. Even though his memories were slow to return, he got to appreciate all over again what it felt like to have someone in his life, someone that didn't mind his music, didn't mind his bouncy nature. "Hey, my Main Machine." Winking, he still felt a wave of strange awkwardness that clung to him, his smile faltering slightly after a moment.

The former Decepticon froze, realising the truth and pausing there in the doorway, shoulders drooped and glancing around inside of the apartment, clearly attempting to see if anyone else was there.

"No one 'bout." Blaster shifted up onto his knees, leaning against the back of the couch, before gesturing with a finger for the other to come to him, offering him a welcoming smile again. Soundwave had come home... even after what had happened the night before... "Come here."

The large mech took a step forwards when he was beckoned again, hesitating, before slowly coming over to Blaster, gazing down at the crimson mech with a stiff cool expression. However, Blaster could see beneath it all, could see the swirl of emotions raging, the faintest of quivers, realising in a startled moment that he knew exactly what the other would be thinking right then. Soundwave was dearly familiar and his slightest movements spoke volumes more than the loudest voice.

"I love yah, Soundwave."

The large 'Con almost jerked back, crimson optics widening just a little and staring down at Blaster, swallowing hard and desperate to believe those words. "You... First Aid said it would take time for your memory to return."

"And yah worried that when it did, I won't wancha."

"Your earlier reaction to me..." His bright optics dimmed a touch, lips pressing together in a stiff line, free of its blast mask. "Though when... I woke up and you were here..." A hand lightly touched his chassis, as if he could still feel the solid weight of Blaster pressed against him, warm and clinging to his frame. "I had thought." He didn't finish, fingers twitching slightly, staring down at his own pedes, not quite being able to look Blaster in the face.

"Yah did save me, 'Wave." Stretching out a slender servo, his fingertips traced the edge of that strong, firm jaw, feeling the tight muscle cables relaxing beneath the tiny plates surrounding that straight line of a mouth. "I'm right 'ere, not goin' anywhere."

Almost having to stand on the couch to reach, his fingers closed around the nape of the other's neck, tugging hard and suddenly kissing Soundwave fiercely, being rewarded with a muffled sound of surprise and the scorching moistness of that mouth. His knee joints bumped against the top of the couch, almost toppling him over the edge of it, when powerful arms curled around his slender waist supporting him completely and cradling him near.

Groaning softly, Blaster drew his head away, lips tingling as he sucked in vast quantities of air in a feeble attempt to cool his overheating internals. Fingers clung to the warm metal surface, clawing at it lightly, delighting in the way one large hand was sliding down the curve of his back, thumb caressing the edge of every spinal plate. Panting softly, his blue gaze was flickering while a mouth was sliding across the curve of his throat, Soundwave making low sounds in his vocals that had Blaster practically melting. His arm swept around that strong neck, trying to keep himself upright knees sliding against the back of their couch and his pedes clicked against the floor as he flailed for a moment. Squeaking in surprise, his legs were going out from under him until he was pressed back against the couch he had previously been on.

"You have been bathing." A glossa swept over the fine cables peeking out between the plating under his jaw, his head tipped right back, feeling the suck of that mouth as it curled around them, tugging lightly at the sensitive wiring. Inhaling deeply, Soundwave was pleased, deeply so at the eager responses he was getting. "Hungry are you?"

"Wha... are yah talkin' 'bout...?" His hands were stroking over the expanse of the powerful back, sliding over the powerful muscle cables he felt strain and twist somewhere beneath the dark armour.

"You are quite ravenous." A thumb brushed against the inside of Blaster's thighs, tracing the fine lines and seams, caressing higher. "_Most_ of the time." Crimson optics were narrowed, lips curled upwards in that slight smirk that made Blaster swallow hard against the almost painful throb of pleasure that surged unchecked through every inch of his frame.

"I am... not like that..." He squirmed slightly, hips arching and whimpered when they were pressed firmly back against the couch, he could hear it scrapping slightly against the floor plating. The pressure was almost unbearable, his aft rubbing lightly against the fabric just behind him, entire body arching and trying to escape the heated touch that brushed against his frame and set everything on fire.

"Your not?" An optical ridge lifted slightly in mock question, before a hand lifted from where it had continued to caress and massage the heated plating. "Are you certain of that?" Lubricants coated the fingers that were held before his optics, making Blaster extremely aware that he was definitely turned on by the mech before him, those hands knowing exactly where to touch him to get maximum results.

"Please..." His damp thighs rubbed together slightly, his moist lips parted, gasping softly as his pedes went out from under him again as he was lifted easily, strong arms curling about him and drawing him upwards. Burying his face against the broad shoulder, his entire body shivered once, feeling the throb of that spark so close to his audio. Before he knew it the berth was beneath him, softness against his back, the berth dipping ever so slightly under the weight of the mech who leaned down over him between his knees.

Butterfly kisses fluttered up against his hips and the low musical notes had his entire body tingling, the vibrations sweeping downwards as that skilful mouth was darting downwards where thigh and hip met, nipping at the plating and lapping at the fluids that formed a sheen on the metal. Hissing, Blaster's hips arched restlessly from the berth, thrusting upwards and attempting to increase the pressure. A keen of despair escaped the crimson mech when his hips were pinned down, his wandering hands caught by the wrists.

"No... no... Man! Let... me... touch yah!" Blaster struggled, fingers curling and uncurling frantically in the strong grip, chassis rising and falling quickly, barely able to keep still his internal temperature dangerously high. "Please... 'Wave..." Even though this was the first time for his memory, his frame knew this, knew he was not going to be leaving that berth anytime soon and by the next morning he was going to be legless and limp with ecstasy.

Soundwave was a dark shadow in the gloom of their bedroom, towering over Blaster as something soft looped around slender wrists, pulling them tightly together and preventing the squirming mech from being able to rush what was going on. Both of them were being stripped of their armour, a warm mouth marking the path of the hands, one hand firmly on those thighs, keeping them down and preventing them from squirming. Something hot touched against Blaster's entrance, the mech letting out a strangled moan, writhing against the restraint, his wrists twisting sharply, attempting to get out of the silk soft bonds that were working their way into the seams of his plating, unintentionally tightening them. One long slow lap across wet metal, pressing inside slowly, stretching out taut muscle cables and getting a rather unintelligible response from Blaster.

"Yah... play very dirty..." The crimson mech managed a small smirk, catching the look on the face that was somewhere down between his thighs, his knees lifting and parting, spreading himself quite willingly for his companion. "Yah not hard ta love at all..." A few rather erotic sounds escaped his damp lips, when a mouth turned from his valve to his length, licking from tip to base and nipping hard, making his entire body quake. Fingers were already thrusting upwards, spreading him, stroking around deep inside of him, drawing out the whimpers of pleasure from him. "Lover..."

"And you can still talk coherently." Something that seemed to not quite please the large dark Cybertronian, optics narrowing slightly, before Blaster was going from back to belly, face pressed against the heavy scented pillow that reminded him of the chassis he had buried his face in the night before. Legs spread, arms over his head forced to support himself and not reach for his lover, his back arched with the first rough thrust of those fingers inside of him, two digits pressing in deep, curling around inside for a moment.

A sea of stars flared across Blaster's vision, the world positively swimming around him, swirling and flaring like a star, bliss sweeping his frame and stealing his thoughts for several long moments. Panting softly, his head turned slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of Soundwave, see those crimson optics illuminating the darkness, dangerous and so near. How had he never noticed this mech? Even when they were on Earth... how could he deny the deep attraction he felt for Soundwave? He knew now that he was safe, that his memories, which had begun reforming would return completely. But this... these few days had shown him again just how lucky he was to have someone that treasured him.

Wetness coated his thighs, his hips arching backwards, rocking against the fingers that continued to stroke those sweetspots inside of him. Fingers curled into the cover of the pillow, rocking back and attempting to find some kind of rhythm, anything to distract himself from the hard thing pressed against his thigh. Words seemed to be failing him, his facial plates flushed red hot, his back arching again as that mouth moved along his spike, along his thighs and dropped tiny kisses across his trembling hips.

"You know I am jealous."

Blaster's body shuddered at the words, the heat in them enough to start an inferno inside his spark. What could Soundwave be jealous about? _Afterburn?_ "Maybe... yah should be..." Desperately he hoped that he pitched it just right, just serious enough to spark something in Soundwave, but not enough... to hurt that spark... the wonderful spark that provided him the love and affection he had craved so badly.

"What have you been up to?" Hands were sliding up along Blaster's sides, the weight of Soundwave pressed up against Blaster's back, heavy and vibrating slightly with darker emotions. "Have you been _naughty_?" A low husky growl against Blaster's audio, a hand closing around the twitching spike and squeezed hard, jerking it roughly and practically demanding an answer.

It was a thrill, his fuel pump thumping hard and heavy in his chassis, groaning as something throbbed and brushed against his stretched entrance, sending a shiver racing up his central relay net. "**Very**." He challenged back, the jerk this time was so tight he thought he would overload right there and then again!

"Do you require punishment for your transgression?"

Blaster almost choked out a laugh that was buried under a whimpering moan he couldn't hold back any longer. His valve throbbed hotly, reminding him that there had been fingers inside of him moments before... now he was empty and for some reason he definitely didn't like it. "Yes, _Decepticon_, I need punishment." Hopefully... just hopefully... his mocking attitude, playful and defiant was something they had done before.

"I see, Autobot." Hands stroked and slipped up across the warm belly, one palm curling across the warm spark casing, caressing and stroking around the edge of it. "Resistance of any kind will be met with harsh consequences."

"Yah will get nothin' from me, yah crosswired toast."

A low throaty laugh was his answer, a sound that would have impressed even Megatron, deep and almost callous. "I can get your screams."

Without a moment's hesitation, Blaster abruptly impaled, that hot spike thrusting in one swift motion deep inside him and he was trying desperately to keep in the cries of pleasure that wanted desperately to escape him. Fingers clawing desperately at the pillows, his aft was dragged higher, the angle deepening and his sweetspot was being pressed against so hard with each jolting movement, deep and satisfying in a way nothing else could be. He wouldn't reward Soundwave yet, even though it was extremely difficult to keep in the sounds that wanted to escape him, but he would win. The sharp rock against him was welcome, the slide of metal on metal creating a rather delicious sort of friction, one of those arms hugged him tightly, a cheekplate rubbing against his own affectionately.

Soundwave was moulded against him, their frames moving as one, each movement drawing Blaster towards the edge, his aft lifting just a little higher, gasping as the air was literally pushed from his venting systems. "I want to hear you." A harsh thrust followed the demand, a hand jerking roughly at Blaster's spike, thumb teasing the head of it, feeling the strain building slowly upwards through his lover.

Musical notes suddenly flooded Blaster's senses filling him up completely, rushing through every inch of his frame, spilling over and into the room. It was enough to knock him over the edge and with a scream, he was swept up and over the edge listening to the sound of his companion's voice against his audio. His face was pressed against the pillow, entire frame trembling slightly with the slow movements as his clenching valve was continually taken with the same rough force that made him tremble visibly. "Soundwave!" He was practically wailing his lover's name, squirming against the rough movements that came with the beat of his lover's song, he wanted to touch that body, touch the warmth that was his beloved.

Hands rubbed over his frame again, tapping lightly in different places, setting fire to sensors that Blaster didn't even know he had, his audios tingled slightly with the sound of wet movements smoothed by his own lubricants. Fluids dripped over the hand that had been stroking his spike, which was still quite hard, telling Blaster there was not going to be any relief anytime soon. However, his head twisted just enough to catch those lips, mouth opening and feeling that lithe glossa slip inside, tracing every inch of his mouth and tasting him deeply, his own glossa curled around Soundwave's, keeping the mech distracted for a moment.

Wrists twisting hard against the silky tie around them, he managed to slip one hand free, soon easing the other coil of fabric off. Valve tightening sharply, he was rocking and wriggling, hearing the soft sounds from his lover's vocal components, it was a delightful sound and knowing especially that his companion was starved of affection as he was. Their physical relation was something that was clearly an intimate part of their relationship, not that Blaster minded at all, they did after all fit together perfectly.

"Yahr turn!" He grinned brightly, watching the slightly startled look on Soundwave's face as they rolled, Blaster twisting hard, managing to knock Soundwave in a tangle down onto the messy sheets and thermal blankets.

A growl escaped the dark mech's throat, his arm attempting to catch Blaster's body and pin him in close, but the slender mech was squirming with a wide grin on his face, though he couldn't help the waves of pleasure that came from that spike sliding around inside of his valve. "No, no... yah had yahr turn!"

"**Blaster**." It was a warning. Crimson optics flashed dangerously, narrowing on the red and white mech that was straddling Soundwave's waist, winking at him playfully.

"Should I tie yah up?"

A snarl was his only answer.

"Yah're gorgeous when yah're angry." Hands sliding slowly across the finely crafted chassis, his lips turned upwards in delight, just watching the way the mech moved and twisted under him, quite willing to roll them back pin Blaster down all over again and frag the life out of him. Nevertheless, Blaster suspected Soundwave really wanted something more intimate than just a rough, deep interface. "Though... yah're mine, I wouldn't wanna share yahr sexiness with anyone else."

Both hands reached out, catching the strong jaw and trailed his fingers over the smooth cheekplates, rubbing slowly and just tipping that head just enough to see the emotions deep within those faceted optics. "Let me." It was a gentle whisper, lips seeking his lover's again, tender and satisfying their need for a quiet moment, something that allowed Blaster to show that he believed in what they had. And he wasn't startled to see the stray tracks of wetness across the warm cheekplates, ones he lapped up in soft damp caresses against that heated metal. "I'm not leavin' yah, 'Wave. Jazz told me how happy yah make me. I realised just how right he was."

Shifting his weight, he was beginning to rock slowly, his legs resting on either side of his lover's hips, groaning as Soundwave responded, thrusting upwards, using the power in his legs to hit Blaster's sweetspot each time. A hand steadied the crimson mech, attempting to draw him closer again, begging for something... pleading for the intimacy that was shared between them alone.

"Tell me yah love me..." Blaster wanted to hear it again, wanted to hear the loving words from the mech that had offered him so much and would be here for him. "Please."

"I love you, my Blaster." Fingers returned Blaster's earlier gesture, stroking against a cheekplate, crooning something soft and low and affectionate. "More than anything. I love you most fervently."

Blaster leaned forwards, his frame tucking itself against the vast chassis, his face buried against the warm chassis, chirping ever so softly, his hands sliding over the warm frame. He had barely realised himself that he had lost his Earth transformation and now it was so easy to lean in even closer... there was no longer a need for weapons or for the tools of war. Lips turned up at the corners as their bodies shifted and the crimson mech found himself sprawled on his back again, his arms wrapped around the strong waist, hands sliding up across that strong back.

"Let me in." Soundwave whispered, sucking a rather hot spot on Blaster's throat, teasing him and taunting him with soft movements, lips turning upwards in enjoyment.

And their casings were sliding back, the protective barriers around their sparks separating and sharing the most intimate of contact their kind could have. Sparks brushed like twin stars, spinning wildly in a frantic dance, drawn in around each other by what seemed their own mutual attraction. The first merge of the outer shell was like coming home... like his very soul, the very essence of what made him Blaster was being welcomed in by what felt like his other half, that which had been missing for far too long.

"Yes... Yes! Blasted... 'Wave..." Blaster was suddenly sobbing as he rocked still against the frame above him, his fingers digging painfully into the mech's back, clutching at him. Tears streaked down to soak into the pillow behind his head, it was overwhelming the ocean of emotions that crashed over him from within Soundwave, answering every question Blaster had about just how much he was loved. "I'm right here... not goin' anywhere... promise!" Their frames moved slowly, dancing together in their own way, warm and secure together like that. "Right here..."

And gravity pulled them together, sparks throbbing in perfect sync, creating a rhythm that sung through both of them, despite the lack of memories, Blaster could remember now... through Soundwave's optics. And his head was arching back, staring up into the beautiful crimson optics as the world spin madly, pleasure surging and sweeping him away so quickly he melted completely into his lover, the darkness claiming him... drawing him up and for a brief moment he felt he was flying amongst the stars... awash in the love of his beloved.

"I love you."

It was such a simple thing, but yet here, it meant everything.

They were together.

* * *

Groaning softly, Blaster rolled slightly a heavy weight preventing him from moving too much, burying his face back into the softness of the pillow, his hips shifting restlessly an ache growing slightly within. His head twisted slightly, optics drifting open sleepily and caught the first glimpse of Soundwave's sleeping face, relaxed and contented. A smile touched his lips, his hand reaching down to lightly brush against the one resting against his hip, his valve squeezing around the hot limp length that was still resting inside of him. Almost purring, he let out a small rather happy sound when the grip tightened, pulling him back in when he tried to shift away, drawing him back in against the powerful chassis.

Though his processors ached dully, he was relieved at what he found, though still holier than human cheese, mostly everything was back, filling in large gaps in his memory files. Blaster winced at one of the more recent ones, his poor lover getting caught at the wrong end of a energy weapon, but he had to admit to himself, the experience he had might be a little strange and at times disconcerting, but it had reminded him just how lucky he was to have someone like Soundwave. This mech was special and would quite willingly give his very life for Blaster, it was rare to find someone like that, someone...

One crimson optics suddenly opened and peered at Blaster, before dripping shut again, the crimson bot being shifted into a more comfortable position, both of them spooned together on their sides, Soundwave's face tucked against the nape of his neck. "I can hear your processors ticking over..."

"Nothin' to worry 'bout." Blaster reassured him, wrapping an arm over the one around his waist, holding it tightly and definitely not wanting to let it go. "Just... a little thinkin'."

"Recharge now, thinking later." Soundwave monotoned, muttering something about overactive processors faintly against the ticklish nape.

"Thankyah."

"For... what?"

"Everythin'." His head tipped back slightly, lips turning upwards and just enjoyed the slow morning, knowing that he still had a few days more of medical leave and Soundwave worked on his own time mostly from home. It was definitely going to be a good day, considering the night they had had.

"Mmm..."

"I mean it."

"You mean a great deal of things." The dark mech was trying to stifle what appeared to be a yawn, his frame stretching slightly without changing positions, just snuggling more against Blaster and attempting to drop back into recharge. "Most of them being utter nonsense."

"Sense of humour yah got there, 'Wave." Blaster snorted softly, shaking his head a little, before rubbing his fingers along the back of the broad arm hugging him tightly, tracing the seams in the metal. "I mean... thankyah for the past few days. Yah always were the best."

"Blaster...?" It was hesitant, uncertain for only the briefest of seconds.

"I'm back, my Main Machine and better than ever."

"No."

"Huh?"

"No loud music."

A long pause, before Blaster shook his head slightly in amusement. "Yah always spoil my fun."

"I am fun."


End file.
